Saturday, September 11, 2010

my saturday....

Today has been a pretty good day! I kept my self super busy! I did you can say spring cleaning at the end of summer. i washed bathrooms from top to bottom, floors every single inch of flooring from carpet ta wood, walls , mirrorsm windows, and every day laundry, ed washed or bathed lil mz betty(our pug), and then I wrote my mom 2 letters!
My house smells like pine sol and febreeze tropical whatever lol!
        Anywho its been a good day all around. Of course I did other things but that was the major stuff.
And I kept myself superb busy.But I dunno it is sumtin else. Not only just busy but it was pretty much a good day and I enjoyed it!

                          And now its time for bed and all I wanna do it curl up next ta him cuddle whatever and them just go to sleep a deeep sleep where I dont wake up  20 times in a night like I usually do every single durn night i just wanna sleep til at least 6am.... please god let me sleep til at least 6 hell even 5 am PAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEE!!! LET ME SLEEP TIL AT LEAST THEN!!!  im so sick of wakin up 5 or 6 times a night starting at 1am
Will letcha know if it happens hope everyone has a good weekend!!!!

well then...

I guess I talk about the same chit just about everytime I get on here =/
Same depressing chit. Didn't realize until I sat here and re read them all.
Im gonna have to change chit up and write about more stuff that aint so damn depressing
all the time!

Friday, September 10, 2010

blah...

Just sitting here waiting for toopid Fed Ex ta get here. Seems to be that they are taking their sweet time!
Every other time they would of done been here crack of friggen dawn. NOT today lol.
The boys are in school. And Ed is at work. And I shall sit here. Yay =/
I sit here and say that I needa get a job or volunteer sumwhere, to get me out of the house. But then do I do it? Nope! So no ones fault but my own! I just dont have that emph to get up and go look. Or do anything for that matter than keeping the house clean and cook for the family. But thats about it.
Day ta day crap I keep up with. But to do anything for me I dont. Does that make sense? I dunno
Most days i do my thing, and then I just wanna sleep the day away to make it go faster.
Like right now waiting for fedx ta get here. Why? So I can go crawl into bed.
Im finally where I wanna b in my life, to my family and what not. But theres sumtin inside, that is wrong I guess.
I cant explain it. I just wish I could fix it already, wish i knew how to fix it for that matter.
I just hate hate feeling this way! Theres no reason for it. Theres no stressers in my life. I dont know
I know one thing it sucks!! I wish I wasnt feeling like this everyday.
dunno gonna go find sumtin to do!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

summer is almost over....

My boys are home now!!!!

They got back this passed thursday they have been with their dad since end of May!
So its been a long summer without them! They are still trying to adjust. They miss thier
dad soooooo much. Hes in the army and just got back from Iraq and stationed up state ny.
and we live in Indianapolis, In., so it is hard for them! And now he is moving to Hawaii.
And my oldest wants to move with him! :( he is going into the 10th grade and gonna be 16.
So its hard for me to tell him no!
So the end of this school yr. I told him if he does well he can move with his dad next summer.
Now little man dont know how to take that, cuz hes his fathers clone lol. and he wants to move 2 :(
So when he turns 14 if he still wants to live with daddy he can! :(
Hopefully by that time he will ( their dad)  will be stationed sumwhere close!
One can only hope and pray!
And it just makes it that much harder for me! Cuz in one hand I feel they dont love me!
which I know they do. But its still hard!
They are with me day in and day out every single day. So I know how much they miss their daddy. But its still hard!
They are my babies!! No matter how old they get they will always be my babies!!!
I dunno anywho I think this is it for me tonight its almost 1am
and I need to get sum sleep cuz I have to b at the doctors first thing in the mornign
so I better get sum sleep!!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Well its official!

I have Type 2 Diabetes. Just came home from the doctors office. I wish to god I didn't have it. Both my parents had/have diabetes. I'm not losing any damn weight what so ever.
That's my biggest problem right there. I need to lose this damn weight. I've cut back big time. I mainly eat just chicken and vegetables now. Cut out red meat almost all together. We hardly eat that at all anymore. I should be losing the weight. But nothing is coming off at all! I dunno what to do! Egh enough said about this topic. It sucks!!!
Anyways the boys come home in in 2 weeks now. Cant wait for them to be home. I miss them like crazy! Well my day sucks and I really dont have anything else to write about so i guess Ill stop here!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Wow a year has passed!!

Wow I cannot believe its been a year already, since the last time I posted!
Alot has happened in the past yr., you can say.
Right now the boys are up in New York with their dad. They should be home in a week or so.
Cannot wait!
I miss them like crazy!!!

Lets see Buck was up here last October thru December. But him and Lisa worked things out.
THANK GAWD!!
I love my brother, don't get me wrong. But we are both very hard headed and don't take chit. So
we ended up fighting alot!! I wish we did live closer to one another. Just not in the same house!!!! LOL

I don't know whats wrong with me anymore! I feel so alone all the time, and sad! I hate this feeling soooooooo much! Its not Ed or the boys its sumtin inside me. Cant explain it, but it does suck!
Ed took me out with some well a couple he works with. Friday of my birthday. We ended up going to Joe's Crab Shack. It was nice and I had fun.minus the awkwardness I was feeling in the beginning.
But I got over that.
Then Saturday we met up with his ole boss and his wife and the couple we went out the night before with. We ended up going to Dave's and Busters. We, all cept Ed ended up getting really tipsy after all the corona's and shots of Jose and Patron. Randy(his ole boss) and I did the shots of Jose's. And his wife (Chrissy) and the couple did Jager bombs. I cannot drink that chit for chit! Yuck!
and we shot about 20 games of pool. Which is my game but I so sucked that night LOL actually we all did! Which at first or the start of the night I felt outta place. Or like I didn't fit there. But after a few shots I was like f*it! LOL.

I've been trying to quit smoking, (while I be smoking at the moment lol) and I always seem to fail!
I have no willpower I swear!
The boys are hoping I do get the will power and quit. But that don't look to promising. Well for right now anyways.

Hopefully I get to see my mom some time in the next couple months! Long long story, and not going to get into right now. But we haven't seen each other in awhile now. I'm hoping she could fly up here.
Because there is no way I can or we can fly down there right now. Cant afford it!

Well Danny pcs's to Hawaii in October. I told him next summer when I fly the boys out there we were coming out there for a week too. He don't care! lol
But Before we found that out. We made a deal all our money next yr. was going to go to the Tahoe.
Hurry up and pay that bitch off faster. But now I wanna take half and go out there. I mean come on when would we ever get the chance to do that again?
So we shall see!
Well I needa get my big ass ta bed so signing out!!